If I'm being honest, it's been a week since I've really thought of God. Other than a couple prayers of desperation like "Lord, please somehow stop time for a couple minutes so I won't be late" I have thought an awful lot about me. About what others think of me. About anything other than God.

I can always tell when I am in this place because suddenly I can't stand silence for a second. I download all the podcasts, always have a show or music playing in the background. I know if I let myself stop I will realize... Shoot. I did it again.

I read a Psalm because it has to start somewhere. I have to pick up the Bible, I have to eventually get to the place of humiliation and confession and repentance crying, "God I am sorry. How do I continue to wander? Please forgive me."

I read and I see myself, an Israelite in the desert, rescued from oppression yet wishing to go back because I'm tired of walking and this food isn't so hot and are we there yet?

It's a frustrating thing, isn't it? To find yourself there once again when you thought you would never return to the place of apathy. When the previous season was so sweet and then all of the sudden you need both hands to count the days since you last talked with God, thanked your Father, read his Word.

"Nevertheless, he looked upon their distress, when he heard their cry. For their sake he remembered his covenant, and relented according to the abundance of his steadfast love." psalm 106: 44-45

God is not a god who holds back, who tries to rub it in your face how weak and wandering we are. God is our Father running towards us with open arms crying we must celebrate! This child of mine left and now has returned! Call the caterer, send out the invitations, now is the time to dance and delight in a wandering child returning home, the place of belonging.

Yes we are prone to wander, prone to leave the God we love. And he is faithfully there when we return, ready to remind us why we never should have left, ready to be found by a broken heart.

In the place of wandering do not let another moment go by. Return to the one who is waiting. Don't get to bogged down by guilt that you feel you can't confess and repent. Now is the time. Return to the one with open arms.