coming closer

It happens, as it always does. The one you thought would never hurt you, hurts you. They betray your trust, leave you with your mouth hanging open as you try to stammer through your questions of how could you and your protests of I thought you were different. 

It always happens because we, the fallen and the broken, are living with, eating with, loving with, dealing with the fallen and broken. We should expect it.

But it stings, doesn't it? 

In these moments I want nothing more than to walk to my bed, curl up in fetal position and stay there for a quick three years. I want a bright screen in my eyes. Chips and guacamole by my side.

I want to retreat from people and their questions, from responsibilities, from any potential for more heartache. 

My prayer for you and me is this: don't. Don't turn away. Don't close off. Don't harden your heart. 

I look at the life of a parent. Endlessly they meet ungrateful hearts, tantrums, little people who are so dependent and so wretched. Yet how beautiful when they continue to move toward their kid. What a picture of grace as they continue to extend love, laughter, kindness, gifts on their children. 

And even more I look and remember how Jesus is ever moving toward us. As we run away, or sit in silence and ignore, or apathetically look at him he is moving fiercely toward us. He is jealous for his people. 

Move toward others, even in the hurt. Forgive and forgive and then forgive some more. Let grace be the pen you write stories with. Let kindness be on your lips. Resist the urge to retreat and choose to do the hard thing... Choose to embrace even in the hurt.