of whom i am the worst

the more i live the more the words of paul echo in my heart "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom i am the worst."

yes, i am the worst. truly i fail more than i do good. i seek the things of this world more than i seek him and his kingdom. i try and try and try but even still, as paul says, "i do not do what i want, but i do the very thing i hate." 

and i know this wrestling with the flesh. this pulling at the nature until we are sore and tired and want to give up because dying to one's self is not lovely or pleasurable. it's awkward and difficult and requires picking up the cross and feeling the weight of it heavy upon your back as you slowly head down the straight and narrow path where few are beside you. 

and it is easy for me to get caught up in the chaotic madness of my sin. it is easy for me to get so lost in the ugly that i can't take my eyes off of the horrific sight. but i can't! i musn't! for to focus only on my depravity and failures is to forsake the most beautiful gift humanity has received : "jesus came into the world to save sinners!" 

oh, what wondrous love is this that he came to save me! a bumbling girl with little direction, almost no discipline and a perverted view of love. yes, he has come to save and redeem and restore and i am left humbled that he chose me to lavish his love upon.

i encourage you today to take some time in a quiet place to reflect upon what paul said, "christ jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom i am the worst." 

/// what is jesus saving sinners from? why are we sinners? why do we need saving? ///

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