tune my heart

i am trying to take a moment and reflect on the lessons that have been taught to me the past few months. i am a student of the lord and all i can say is he is a good teacher, a patient teacher.

the past two years have been a time where life has not gone as planned by my little fingers when they scribbled down dreams and schedules and "five year plans." no, the past two years has been far from what i had always thought would be.

i am still trying to see the good in some of those plans gone awry, still trying to make sense of the ink smudges and chapters without resolution, but the lord has made me see one thing in the past month:  this life is not about me.

it's not about what i want to do, who i want to be, how i want my friends to see me, what i want to be known as. it's not about the way i dress, the jokes i tell, the advice i give, the intelligence i show off.

no, this life is for me to "know him and the power of his resurrection." this life is to "go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation." this life is to love the lord my god with all my heart and soul and strength. this life is to love my neighbor as myself. this life is to praise my jesus for "praise befits the upright."

so i go back to that hymn that never grows old and pray one more time "tune my heart to sing thy grace" because i have sung my own song for far too long.