this is it.

Suddenly, as if the universe and all its gravity is thrust against me, I realize it. I realize that slender truth tucked deep within a busy schedule and pressing duties and people to talk to and experiences to be had and checks to be marked on my endless to do list: this is it.

This is it, this one and fragile life. It is all that is allotted to me. I am handed an expiration date, yet I cannot see the numbers. I just know it is there. It is coming. It could be tomorrow and it could a thousand tomorrows from now. Still, it is coming and the clock's tick tock sounds its presence.

I take a deep breath, try and grasp this hardest fact of life. Try and grasp the fact that the days with my family here on this earth are numbered. Try and hold the fact that to everything there is a season, try and get my small fingers around that truth, so I can understand that the current season is fleeting and a new one is on its way. Will it be good? Will it be a trial? Will it be full of laughter or mourning? Budding friendships or painful loneliness? Will it find me ill, given only months to live or a clean bill of health? Will it leave me bankrupt or abounding wealth? Will it bring me closer to my loved ones or create a barrier between us?

All is grasping at the future, to be known but not yet known and I stir and I cry and I wonder and I hope that I use this one and precious life beautifully.