1/10/13

do you understand?



The most beautiful people I’ve ever met have sat me down poolside or driven shotgun to me while turning lake corners and told me ‘I’ve just been so sad sometimes, and I can’t seem to pinpoint why.” And I don’t say anything but ‘I’ve been there, too’ because that place is somewhere we’ve all been. We’ve all ran our fingers across the edge of that water. We’ve dipped our toes in. We’ve put stones in our pocket and sank ourselves till we were breathless.”-Shinji Moon

There was so much I wanted to say as I got my food and took my seat. How could one say it all?

I would start with this: 

"I just feel so empty sometimes."

Yes, that's good. 

I would stare down at the table cupping the drink that was now covering my hands in its sweat. I'd continue: "Like I am too much for some people and not enough for others and no one picks me as their favorite."

But how could someone share the deepest pockets of their heart when even they have not ventured out to discover them all? How could someone hand over the secrets they've been clinging to for so long?

She looked at me, nodding her head as I let her bright, piercing blue eyes see things and feelings and emotions and bits of my heart that I never even let myself really see.

"I completely understand." That was all she said. That was all she needed to say.

I've spent many mornings across a table from someone sipping coffee. Many summer days screaming songs beside friends in a car as we meander through these Carolina country roads. Many late nights crying at sappy movies. But not too many---not enough times--- have I heard the words my soul was thirsting to hear: "I understand."

I get it. I've been there. I'm still there. I'm trying to climb up out of this abyss just like you are. Why don't we climb together?