Asking All Them Questions. Making Statements. Assuming.


I sat there at a crossing. I could choose to say something or I could simply keep my mouth shut. I could speak up or I could shut up. I could speak destruction through gossip or speak life by not joining in or even sticking up for the object of their gossip.

I caved.

Yep. I, after telling myself for the past two weeks that I need to stop talking about others in a negative light, after just being hurt by a good friend from overhearing her talk about me, and after tweeting over and over about how we need to love like Christ started talking about a girl I don't even really know.

I was with a friend who loved to talk bad about this particular girl. And, to be honest, I can understand why. The object of my friend's gossip is a girl who likes to stir up drama and she can whip it up better than anyone I know. But still... what gives me the right to talk about her in a negative light? Talk about her like I know her? When I don't know what she goes home to everyday, the insecurities she feels, or the hurts she has endured.

What is it about bring someone down with your words that feels so good?

Now, for you gentlemen, gossiping may not make so much sense to you guys. But for girls, sharing a juicy, dirty detail about someone creates a bond. I can't even explain it, but "ganging up" on someone brings friendship in a way few things can for girls. For one, you feel (momentarily) better about yourself because you're smashing someone, but also you have a friend who feels the same way you do about a person.

It's intoxicating, invigorating, and addicting. Soon you and your friends only know how to bond over gossip so every time you get together is a time to decide who you're going to destroy for the night. 

There's a problem, though. Gossip sucks the life out of you. While you may feel a little better after demolishing someone's hair, make up, or personality, your insecurities aren't getting any smaller. In fact, they can get better because you are reflecting an image that says, "I don't really care about anyone. I don't like anyone. I am so insecure everyone must go down." And, let me tell you, that is not flattering or refreshing on anyone. This reflection will ooze onto your outlook of yourself and soon the vicious cycle of wanting to feel better will ensnare and you may lose control.

The only way to end the cycle of gossip and growing insecurity is claiming the truth that you are loved fully and completely. What's more, you must act on this command from the Word that is the heart of Christ:

"Watch the way you talk.... Let every word be a gift."**

When you start speaking life, you will begin living. Words can destroy or improve. They can kill or they bring life. How are you going to use them?

*This video may have nothing to do with gossiping but it's pretty much one of the best videos ever... I sing it to myself... a lot.
**Ephesians 4:29