2/18/12

How I am Revving Up My Sex Life

Calling all! Married or unmarried, in a relationship or not, talking to someone or talking to no one: we need to rev up our sex life!

Yep. I said it. I, Savannah Morgan, need to amp up the 'ol sex life.*

Oh, I can hear you guys saying it now: "WHAT?! Savannah Layne Morgan. You claim to be a Christian! You are not married! You have a purity ring!"

Well, those statements are true (minus the purity ring... I lost that.... and ever since I've been wondering where my purity went....) but nevertheless, my sex life needs to be turned up a bit.

Now, to all of you moms out here, hear this: I am not having sex. I'm a virgin. But that truth is actually one of the ways I am amping up my sex life.

Okay, okay. I'm gonna get to the point because I'm even confusing myself at this point.

There is a really important way we can have a better sex life: honoring the person we will one day have sex with for the rest of our lives. Our spouse.

How do we honor them? How do we change the way we live, think, and act now so we can have better sex later?

There are quite a few ways. But it's not "practicing" with your current boyfriend or one night stand. It's not watching porn. It's not daydreaming about how it's going to be every minute of everyday.

It's by keeping our minds, hearts, hands, eyes, and bodies for God's Mr. or Mrs. Right. It's by being on guard over what we watch, read, daydream about, put our hands on, lust over, and say. It's by living a life you wouldn't be ashamed to tell your future spouse about.** It's by having a porn-free lifestyle so you don't end up playing the comparison game in your marriage. It's by defying the lies of society that say you are not a real man until you have sex with every girl you can get your hands on. It's by telling all the women who say, "You can have just as hot of a sex life as men! Go have casual sex with every man you know" that you are bigger than that. It's even by telling your current boyfriend/girlfriend/finance: "I love you. You're great. But there is no marriage ring on the finger and we do not have the same last name. I want to honor my God, myself, my future spouse, you and your future spouse by saving myself for marriage." I know. It's tough. Every part of your nature is gonna tell you, "Who cares? Just do it." But your new Spirit---the Spirit of God---is ready and able to give you strength and perspective.

With purity comes passion. With purity comes sex without comparison, baggage, chains, or haunting memories. If you begin a life that honors your future husband/wife, once you are married and start having sex you will never find yourself having fun with your spouse and trying a new game, position, (uh-oh! gettin' raunchy!) or setting and thinking, "Oh, I did this with Ben in college a few years back" or "Gotta admit... my high school girlfriend was always the best at this." That kinda depresses me. I don't want my husband to one day compare me to his list of past lovers. I want to be his one and only. I want us to not feel the pain of comparisons and baggage. That's what we all want. It's natural.

Just think back to Genesis: the first man and woman. The first couple. God picked out the right lady for the right lad (Take note: God picked a woman for the man. He did the choosing. Not you and your facebook stalking of the guy you saw at a cafe). There they were. Naked. Unashamed.

That's how we can be when we let God bring us our future-honey pie*** and we let Him write our story. We let Him fulfill us. We lean on Him for discipline in these sex-free days. We let Him fill up our love tank.

Is it gonna be hard? Heck yes. Are we gonna fill lonely? Oh, yeah. But Adam felt lonely without Eve. And God provided a woman for him at just the right timing. God knows our longings. He knows our desires. And he will provide. But first, we must lean into His love. We must let Him sustain us.

Then we allow not only our bodies, hearts, and minds be pure, but our souls will be pure, too. We won't expect perfection when going through the highs and lows of a relationship. We won't get our satisfaction from our spouse, but our God. 

It's a beautiful thing to wait. It's a fabulous way to rev up your sex life. It's the best way to have the most intimate, fun, and shameless sex imaginable in the future.

So are you ready? Are you ready to rev up your sex life? Join me in this journey---and, at times, fight---to have hot sex with no comparisons.****

*With just that statement I probably went from the one view I get from my mom on each post to about half of my church, school, and all of the world's population.

**If you have a past and you have done stuff you're not so proud of, take heart! Our God is a God who forgives. He wipes the slate clean. You can began anew. You can claim purity and claim victory over the one who wants to get you: satan. You can began a life with beautiful perspective. Perspective that comes with the knowledge and discipline to honor your future lover by keeping guard over your heart, body, and thought life now. Do not feel like this is shame city for you right now. You are a new creation. Start over. Begin honoring yourself, God, and your future spouse. But, what's more. Speak up about how you have failed. Because guess what? 1) you need accountability. And by telling wise people you trust about your longing anew you gain access to encouragement to fight through the temptations and struggles we all face. 2) others are going through or have gone through the same thing. They need to know that they are not the only one going through this. They need to see examples of repentance and redemption. Accept the grace our Father so freely gives!

***There are many nicknames you can begin thinking about now for your future mate (or you can put them into practice if you are currently in a relationship) so you can be ready for when the time comes that you need to have a pet name for your boo boo. I have compiled a short list that I will gladly let you borrow if you feel the urge. The nicknames are, but are not limited to, the following:

  • honey bunny
  • sugar lips
  • cheese face
  • booger butt
  • honey biscuit (I like honey)
  • sausage patty daddy 
  • Mr./Ms. hottie pants
****I would love to talk further with you if you have questions, stories, or even disagree with me on this topic! I am not an expert on sex. Like I said: I'm a virgin. But I do have lots of fabulous men and women in my life who have been willing and open about sex, their struggles, and the blessings of waiting or re-committing to wait. If you want to talk, leave a comment here. I would love to discuss this topic further!



3 comments:

  1. Hey Savannah!! I'm Katie, one of your many long lost cousins from that huge family your mom comes from. Just ask her to explain how we are related :o) Anyway, I love your post! You are so right about all of it! I have been reading some of your blog and am loving it! You are really talented and I know God will use your words more than you can imagine. I hope to see you around some time!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, Katie! Thank you and hope to see you, too!

    ReplyDelete
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