7/31/11

My name is Savannah... and I'm a recovering internet slut.

We don't really think about what we do and/or say on the internet.

For many people I feel like the internet seems almost like a dream to them. They think that they can send a nasty comment to a person they don't like (something that they would never think of saying in person) and once it's sent they will reap no consequences. They think it'll be like it never even happened.

While saying things I wouldn't normally say on the internet isn't really my problem this is: I tend to forget how easily accessed everything is on the internet. I tend to forget that when I post a picture or video on Facebook of my friends and I goofing off, not only will our friends watch it but people from my church, my parent's friends, my neighbors, 45 year old men who live at home with their mother and have nothing better to do than hack my Facebook site and creep while eating candy corn and listening to Michael Jackson.....

Today I found myself thinking it odd that someone (who I felt should have very little interest in me and what I do) was commenting about a blog post I had written. I know I sound naive, but for some reason I just didn't realize that when I tweet: "Hey, check out this blog post" or post a new entry on facebook people read them (Shocker, right? It totally rocked my world.)

I mean, the point is for people to read them (and to get out what I am thinking, but with people reading them it's a little less lame) but I have to admit I was a little creeped out by the interest from this person.

And this person had no weird interest in me. They were simply reading what I put before them.

And then I realized: I'm an internet slut.

That's the plain and simple truth. You know how they say we can all own a little corner of the internet for ourselves (okay, that may not be a familiar saying, but just go with me here). Well I am workin' that dang corner! I'm exposing myself and giving out all my information and baggage to whatever Average Joe surfs by. I leave lots of bits and pieces of myself on here, Facebook, and Twitter that could just go un-said. Things that people should find out by spending time with me, not by reading my bio in 140 characters or less.

I also realized how fake I can be on the internet (funny how that is one of my biggest pet peeves). I'm guilty of tweeting things like "Love eating dinner with my family! They are awesome!" and in real life sitting at the dinner table with a grimace and bad mood.

You see, I've found making yourself sound awesome online is easy.

Want to test my theory? Okay. Here goes:

I'M SO HOT AND AWESOME VERSION OF SAVANNAH:
I love creating beautiful things out of nothing. I am a writer and am constantly holding a pen and paper waiting for that lightbulb to go off with my big break. I'm an actress, a designer, and an artist. I'm a walking oxymoron. I love people. My goal is to make everyday better for the people I'm with. I'm super friendly and super nice. I love Jesus and I try to be more like Him everyday. I'm falling more and more in love with Him with each passing moment. I'm a great friend and lover of all things good. I'm a beautiful mess. My name is Savannah.

THIS IS PLAIN AND SIMPLE SAVANNAH*
*NO FANCY WORDING INCLUDED:
I try to make neat stuff out of junk, but I usually end up just having junk laying around and forgetting to make it neat. I really like to write, but am too scatterbrained and unmotivated to finish the three books I have started. I used to act. I attempt to design. I am in no way an artist (yeah, I break out the 'ol paintbrush at times... but no bids on my Etsy account yet). By walking oxymoron I mean I make no sense and confuse people, including myself. I try to love people. I would love to really love people. But I feel like I am no where close to saying I truly love people. Sometimes my goal..... and I hate saying this..... is to have the best day for me--not anyone else but me. Even if that means blowing off a friend in need or being rude to a cashier. I try to love Jesus, too. I try to follow Him. I try to give Him my mind, body, and soul like He commands. But it's hard. It's frustrating, because I'm an all or nothing kind of person. And in this situation I find it hard to hand over my "alls".... my idols, my fears, my insecurities, my relationships, my desires, my dreams. Somedays quitting runs through my head and then the next I am sold out for God, again. That being said, I am very inconsistent. I can be a really sucky friend and there are parts of my life where I let evil run lose. I'm just a plain mess. My name is Savannah.

So, since I just told you all I am an internet slut and then gave you a full on biography of myself I can now say I am a hypocritical, internet slut (oh, those are the worst).

But, you see what I mean? We try to make ourselves sound fantastic, but in reality we have all this crap going on.

Have you ever talked to someone online and then met them in person and became really disappointed? Maybe they can pop out the witty comments through texting (because they can have 10 minutes to Google a response) but when it comes to having an intelligent and witty conversation in person they suck. Or they have all the confidence of a cocky quarterback (not that quarterbacks are cocky) when they instigate convos on Facebook but they don't even wave at you when you see them at school.

The Internet has made living double lives really, really easy and comfortable. I'm sure split personalities are at an all time high!

And I am not saying you should use my "Plain and Simple Savannah" description as a guideline when filling out your Facebook bio. You want to have confidence for sure, but lying isn't exactly who you need to be, either. In fact a paragraph, in my opinion isn't really needed. A simple "Hey my name is Savannah and I like purple stuff" would suffice.

I guess what I am trying to say is be safe, be simple, and don't be a slut!

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